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Keeping focused on a demanding project and maintaining momentum when the end date still seems far off in the future is a challenge.

Many of our undertakings, professional and personal require long-term effort, dedication and persistence to see them through. Somewhere around the mid-point, things can start to get tricky; there’s still a long way to go to completion, and despite our best efforts we can start to flag and lose focus.

The art of bringing an open mind to the situation is often more difficult than we might like to admit; but have you ever noticed how things almost always work out better if you can manage to do it?

The other morning I somehow snoozed my alarm and dropped back off to sleep. When the dogs woke me shortly after (they’re very good at that) I had slightly less time than usual before work started; still plenty of time to be ready, but with dogs to walk, meditation and a Tai Chi session to fit in before breakfast it was going to be tight getting it all done.

By the time I was ready for breakfast, I had already decided it was going to be eggs on toast; without, I should add, having first checked the fridge. With expectations set, I opened the fridge door, and…disaster, no eggs in sight, and no time to go for some.

Whatever did I do next?

Anyone who knows me may be surprised (?) to hear that after a good bit of flapping about, staring into the void of the fridge to make sure I wasn’t just ‘not seeing’ the eggs, I stamped over to the cupboard to look for alternatives, resolutely ‘not seeing’ anything there either.

By this time, Jess had come downstairs: “What are you having for breakfast?”, she asked, “I’m not sure what I fancy…”.

“I wanted eggs, but there aren’t any, and I can’t see much else to have instead”, came my gruff reply.

While I continued on my fruitless quest, I was vaguely aware of the sounds of activity around me; and then, the bowl pictured above appeared under my nose: “Would this do?”.

As it happened, it did rather well; certainly not the ‘making do’ kind of breakfast I was so busy preparing for.

So What’s My Point Here?

All of those ingredients were in their proper places, but I had overlooked them because I was too fixated on one idea of what I wanted. I could quite easily have put a bowl like that together myself (maybe not quite as stylishly) if I had brought the right mindset to bear on the problem.

That’s a fairly decent lesson to learn before you’ve even started your day, but there was more. It served as an immediate reminder that the meditation and mindfulness practice I had only just finished should be more than just an exercise to do at a certain point in the schedule and then forget until next time; you’re supposed to try and bring them with you.

Openness , flexibility and non-reactivity are all choices we make every single instant throughout the day. Suitably humbled, I set about the rest of my schedule. I managed not to waste any more precious time beating myself up about my failure and sulking about it; at least I managed to get something right in the aftermath.

As A Footnote

I should probably make it clear for those who haven’t realised, that if not for Jess’s intervention things would have continued as they were. There is a staying:

 When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.

How true.

Have you ever felt like you needed a change of perspective to sharpen things up a bit, keep moving forward towards your goals?

It’s all too easy to get caught up in routine; self-imposed or otherwise. Constant pressure at work can make for long days and even weekends. Focusing on a new skill or habit we want to reinforce can easily lead to neglect or lack of attention in other areas.

Without ever meaning to, we can quickly lose sight of the big picture; only to realise some way down the road that it no longer feels like we are working towards our vision for the future.

I came across this quote from the Dalai Lama recently; asked what surprised him most about humanity, he answered:

Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health.And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present: the result being that he does not really live in the present or the future: he lives as if he is never going to die, then dies having never really lived.

A sobering thought! But it’s not a new affliction of the modern age: I was immediately struck by the underlying similarities with the quote from Henry David Thoureau’s ‘Walden’, famously used in the film ‘Dead Poets Society’:

I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived…

Be In The Moment…

This is perhaps where the concept of mindfulness can be such a powerful ally for us; the thought that we should focus our full attention on the present moment, because it is all we ever truly experience. If you think about it, everything else that takes our attention is a memory (good or bad) of the past or a desire (or fear) for the future.

I would never suggest that we shouldn’t reflect on the past in order to learn from our experiences; and we should definitely have an eye to the future, to know where it is we want to get to. But not to the extent that we fail to appreciate the ‘now’.

As with so many things, it’s a matter of balance; of not obsessing over the past, or an idea of the future. Through the practice of mindfulness meditation, and applying its principles to our daily lives, we become more able to pay attention to the detail of each thing we are doing or experiencing . This in turn brings an immediate sense of fulfilment and satisfaction; we are fully participating in our lives rather than waiting for the day it can start or bemoaning that the best of it has already gone.

Each moment is precious and unique, and you will only get it once. So try to appreciate it for what it is, and look for the beauty in it; you’ll be surprised how much there is if you really pay attention.

So How Does That Help With My Goals?

I’m glad you asked. It might seem a bit abstract at first, but with practice, mindfulness increases your awareness of everything you do. In time, you will instinctively notice when things are out of balance; too much of this, too little of that. You will be able to take corrective measures sooner in order to get back on track.

And there’s another benefit; you should start to see better results in both work and personal projects. Improved focus and attention will always pay dividends in any task; you might find yourself not just back on track, but making up lost ground. Those plans for the future may just start to seem more achievable.

Remember…

It’s good to know where you’ve come from, and be clear where you’re heading. But in the end life is a journey rather than just a series of desired destinations; and surely we owe it to ourselves to make the best of it?

In some ways, this busy modern world can make our minds feel like an overflowing cup; a constant stream of information pouring in, no possibility of holding on to it all.

We have so much information at our fingertips these days, it can be hard to know what to hold on to, and what to let go of. Sometimes our overwhelmed brains don’t even seem to get a choice in the matter; it can feel like we retain little of actual use, only the sense of countless half-remembered facts and figures.

Our minds do have the ability to screen out surplus detail for us to a certain extent; things passing quickly from short term to long term memory to avoid cluttering our conscious thought processes. Just try to recall in detail the events of the day before bedtime; it can be quite a long-winded and arduous task. My introduction to journalling proved that (it does get easier with time and practice).

But the rate of change we are experiencing these days confronts us with unprecedented levels of information to process; in the time it takes to master a new skill, it has practically become redundant, while new ones clammer for our attention.

So what are we to do?

I recently came across a zen koan (short story or parable) about a learned man who travelled a great distance to speak with a zen master in order to learn all he could about zen. They spoke for a while, then the master began to pour him a cup of tea, but let it overflow while he kept on pouring and pouring. Eventually the traveller begged him to stop, and the master replied:

“Your mind, like this cup, is full to overflowing with ideas and opinions; how can I explain zen to you unless you empty it out?”

I won’t pretend to know anything much about zen, but I think there are some fairly safe examples to be drawn from this story, that perhaps we should:

• Try to approach the world in a spirit of open-minded inquisitiveness
• Try not to bring too many preconceived opinions to new situations
• Know that it’s ok to find quiet time, empty the mind and switch off; so we start afresh, like an empty cup

How am I supposed to do that?

That’s a very good question, and the answer I’m afraid is: “It’s up to you“.

Make an effort to find time for the things you find relaxing. For me, walking the dogs (with my phone firmly in my pocket) works wonders, or taking time to read one of the many books that have been stock-piling for far too long, or just appreciating those all too rare family moments when we’re all able to unwind at the same time.

It’s not always easy to fit downtime into our busy schedules, but I think we have to look on it as a non-negotiable rather than a nice-to-have; it’s not just about the positive effects of rest and recuperation, it’s as much about the detrimental long-term effects of information overload and burnout.

With a bit of persistence though, that new habit can be learned, and eventually become part of the routine; you’ll thank yourself in the long run.

Of course, the steady torrent of information isn’t going to stop any time soon; but if we are well rested and less anxious in general, things will feel more manageable. The mind less clouded by concern is more likely to make balanced judgements about what is valuable and what is just background noise that should be allowed to ‘overflow’ without a sense of guilt or inadequacy.

Progress is a good thing (mostly), and change is something we would all do well to embrace rather than shun. But we shouldn’t feel steam-rollered by it: we owe it to ourselves to be well equipped for the challenges ahead, and sometimes that requires doing surprisingly little.

Now go and do that jigsaw, meditation class or a bit of gardening, notice how you feel re-charged afterwards, and commit to making it a regular thing.

We can spend a lifetime dealing with the effects of stress in our lives, and trying to limit the damage. Modern lifestyles can have a habit of repeatedly putting stressful situations in our way; ironically though, we can sometimes be responsible for our own undoing, regardless of lifestyle and environment. As Mark Twain is famously quoted as saying:

I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.

Anxiety and worry, feelings of powerlessness; these are all classic symptoms of chronic stress, and can wreak lasting havoc on health, both mind and body. It’s enough to make you think that we should all run off to live in solitude by the sea or in the mountains (pick your peaceful place and insert here).

But all that changed when I came across Kelly McGonigal’s incredible TED talk ‘How to make stress your friend’. In a brilliantly bold move, Kelly explains how we can reframe our perception of stress as the body’s preparation for the challenge; naturally raising our energy levels and boosting our feeling of courage.

If you haven’t seen it already, I would strongly recommend watching on the link above. It explains how the stress reaction is not only natural, but also helpful if we embrace it; I think that what becomes harmful to us is the anxiety that can take over if we let it, by focusing on all of the potential negative outcomes. And most often, if we try to walk away from a difficult situation, it just has a habit of following us anyway.

Interestingly, Kelly’s twin sister Jane is a game developer who, in the midst of adversity created the amazing ‘SuperBetter’ app. Her TED talk ‘The game that can give you 10 extra years of life’ is also a must-watch; an absolute game-changer.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the sea, and the mountains, and the countryside. I would strongly advocate spending as much time as possible as close to nature as circumstances allow.

But from now on, when there are difficult situations to face, perhaps we can try to let the body use it’s stress reaction in the way it was probably always intended to work; by facing up to the situation with courage and confidence, and not living the life ‘full of troubles that never happened’.

By all means, go for a walk barefoot by the sea afterwards to celebrate the victory; I’ll see you there…

Not all personal projects are the success we planned for. We can invest a great amount of time and energy in something with the highest of expectations; sometimes only to be underwhelmed or even disappointed with the results.

To make it harder, the warning signs can often start to appear early on; but dedication to the idea, or just plain stubbornness prevent us from calling a halt ‘too soon’. No one wants to be known as a quitter.

In those cases, the best to be hoped for is that you can learn something positive from the experience, and move on to the next adventure. Often this easier said than done.

On the other hand, there are those surprising projects that start off ‘cautious, but hopeful’; not certain what to expect for the outcome. Success in these cases is all the sweeter for that. Perhaps, free from the weight of over-expectation( from others and ourselves), we just have a better chance of giving our best. Who knows…?

My recent journalling experiment has been just such a project. In all honesty I doubted that I would maintain the focus needed to stick to the target of thirty days. Life is busy enough, days already too short to get everything done without adding to the list.

But sometimes a challenge turns out to be just too engaging, rewarding or even too much fun, to stop. The second month of haiku is now drawing to a close, and a new target of a year is set.

It sounds contradictory, but there’s something quite liberating about the tight constraints of the haiku form. The struggle to express an idea in such a limited number of words (you certainly can’t waffle, unlike here); the feeling of reward when it’s done.

The journalling will continue, but remain private; the haiku, on the other hand are now being posted daily, and those foolish enough to want to can see them on my ‘The Year In Haiku’ page.

Tread cautiously, and don’t overdo it; they’re probably not everyone’s ‘cup of tea’. But I’m having a great time, and by the end of the year I might even be turning out some half-decent efforts; you can only hope.

A few years ago, I was invited to attend the memorial service of the well-known and much-loved writer Jeremy Lloyd; he had been for many years a client first of my late father, and then myself (during my interlude in the world of tailoring).

The service took place in the beautiful church of St James In The Fields, Piccadilly, whose edifice was designed by Sir Christopher Wren; truly a memorable setting. Famous names from film, television, theatre and the arts filled the church to capacity (in truth, I felt a little out of place).

One by one, close friends eloquently shared stories and memories, some touching, some funny; and then, from his place in the pews, Jeff Beck was invited to come forward and play.

What followed was one of the most beautiful musical moments I have ever experienced; a hauntingly ethereal rendition of “Somewhere Over The Rainbow”, delivered with that hallmark sensitivity and delicacy of touch. As the gentle tones resonated through the church, it’s no exaggeration to say that the entire gathering were transported for an all too brief moment ‘over the rainbow’ with their memories of Jeremy.

I have always believed in the power of music not only to bring people together, but to express emotions that transcend words; if ever there was a moment to cement that belief, that was it. My only regret from the experience was not having the opportunity to speak with him afterwards.

One of the most influential guitarists of modern times, Jeff Beck (the Six String Warrior) was often known as the “guitarists’ guitarist”; probably because even if you had never heard him play, the likelihood is that he had nuanced your favourite players in some way. There are many incredibly talented and innovative guitarists around today; I think it’s fair to say that if they can see ‘musically’ further than the rest, it’s because they are standing on the shoulders of giants like Jeff Beck.

A fearless player (how many people would step up to fill the hole in The Yardbirds left by Eric Clapton?) and a tireless innovator, his legacy is not just in his music and his boundary-shifting playing technique, but also in his positivity of attitude.

As a boy, he built his first electric guitar when he couldn’t afford to buy one ( I did this too, but clearly Jeff, Brian May and Les Paul all found much better wood than I did!). Not just a fan of custom cars, he learned to build them himself – a passion he continued to pursue well into his old age when many would have switched to more relaxing pass times. On one occasion, when questioned in an interview about the ‘inaccessibility’ of a new release, he is quoted as saying:

 “Interesting things happen, when you’re open to trying something different.”

Very simple and succinctly put; I think we can all learn something from that statement.

But to me, it’s fitting that on hearing of his passing, what sprang immediately to mind was his incredible musical eulogy for a friend, that I had been so lucky to hear years before. I will be forever indebted to him for that experience.

Thank you Mr Beck, rest in peace over that rainbow.

Christmas Eve is drawing to a close, and all the family preparations for the big day are done; to quote Kermit the Frog: ‘There’s only one more sleep til Christmas’.

The last thing remaining to do before that sleep is to send a message of love for Christmas and the coming New Year.

As I’m still in the middle of my ‘thirty days of journalling’ experiment, I thought I would share today’s haiku (lucky you):

May love and kindness
Reign supreme this Christmas time;
Peace to all the world.

May all your all your hopes and dreams for 2023 come true.

I’ve been meaning for a while now to experiment with journalling. It feels like the subject has come up repeatedly in a variety of places and the Universe is trying to tell me I should pay attention. Most recently, after re-watching Gladiator for the hundredth time, a Youtube video suggestion about the journalling habits of renowned Stoic and ‘Last Good Emperor’ Marcus Aurelius popped up. By this time, I had to wonder if the Universe is really that shallow, or was it just talking to me in terms I could understand? Either way, I could hold out no longer and decided to give it a go.

Initially I had reservations about the mental stamina required to process my thoughts at the end of each day, but then another article popped up ‘out of the blue’ about haiku, and a cunning plan emerged: If I could challenge myself to write a suitable haiku for each day (which sounded like fun), then I would already have gathered my thoughts ready to ’journal’ them afterwards (a double win).

Armed with a copy of ‘Meditations’ to help get a feel for the process, my journalling experiment is underway. It turns out that bad haiku are quite easy to master, but the process of refining them is very satisfying; the events of the day are called into focus as required in the search for something that will fit.

My other concern about journalling was that of repetition, not having something original to say about every day (a criticism often given by newcomers to Marcus Aurelius’ work, apparently). But it has occurred to me, and I may be wrong here, that there are two distinct sides to the journalling experience; one is about enhanced clarity in the search for meaning in the events of daily life, the other is about reinforcing desired habits and patterns of thought by repetition. The plan is cunning in its simplicity; it just remains to be seen if it actually works.

Ask me for my thoughts
 When thirty moons have risen,
Has focus sharpened?

Who knows, by the time 2024 is almost upon us, I may be writing a post about 365 days of journalling with added haiku; I’ll get back to you on that one…

On a recent hospital visit, I popped into the coffee shop in the foyer to pick up a drink for my wife on my way up to the ward. As I waited to be served, an elderly lady ahead of me in the queue was attempting to pay for a small pack of biscuits with cash, only to be told that they were still only accepting card payments. “But I haven’t got a card,” she objected. “I’m sorry but we haven’t got a till for cash,”came the reply, clearly expecting her to walk away. “But I’ve been here all day visiting my friend; I haven’t even had any breakfast.”

It didn’t appear that any resolution was imminent, so I asked the cashier if the biscuits could be added to my order (this isn’t about me though, there were any number of people behind me in the queue waiting to do the same). At first, I think the lady thought I was trying to take her biscuits from her, not wanting to have to bother picking up my own, but when she realised what was happening, she smiled and said: “Oh, thank you, I’ll have a vanilla latte, that’s terribly kind of you.”

The cashier looked slightly surprised when I nodded in agreement to the extra order, but then the barista who was by this time steaming the milk for my wife’s drink, said just loudly enough to be heard: “Is that a large one…?”

A ripple of smirks made it’s way around the shop, and I must admit my naughty side found it hard not to smile at the time. The lady, who didn’t seem to have heard the remark, waited patiently for her drink, then smiled again and said: “Well that’s your good deed done for the day! Thank you, young man.” (I have to say, I’m not often called young man since passing the age of fifty).

Later that evening, as I reflected on the events of the day, a couple of unexpected thoughts cropped up on the subject of asking for and receiving help.

Firstly, I’m sure I’m not alone in being able to recall situations in the past where I was I in need of help but anything from embarrassment and awkwardness through to sheer stubbornness prevented me from making the request; in fact I’m sorry to admit I can even think of a time where an unsolicited offer of much-needed help disposing of a large piece of furniture at the local dump was politely refused, resulting in a completely unnecessary muscle strain.

In all seriousness though, it’s an important skill not only to be able to identify when you need help with something, but also to go on to actually ask for it, or be able to accept it when offered. The elderly lady in the coffee shop could easily have refused the biscuits, or accepted them but not mentioned a hot drink when clearly she wanted one, but she had the sense to say what she needed; for all I know she might have been facing an exhausting journey home after that long day keeping a sick friend company, but she knew what she needed and wasn’t afraid to ask.

Secondly, if you’re prepared to make an offer of help, you should also be prepared to accept that what is needed may not be what you originally thought it would be, and it’s ok for the person to let you know what they do actually need; even if you can then only help with some part of it, you may have useful insight into how to tackle the rest.

It’s a good idea to keep in mind though, that you never know when you might need that offer of a vanilla latte yourself.

In my first year of undergraduate studies, some years ago now, I had the good fortune to work on a laboratory project with a professor of theoretical physics called Nick Rivier, a modest but brilliant academic with a gift for explaining complex concepts in simple terms.

Over the period of two semesters, my lab partner and I worked under the guidance of Professor Rivier and one of his PhD students, creating models of entities called continuous random networks; largely due to his contagious enthusiasm, we put in substantially more hours of lab work than was expected, working long into the evenings. Eventually our commitment paid off, and we hit upon something that allowed him to put the final piece in place for a significant research project on which he was working.

When we returned from our summer holidays to start the Autumn Semester, we discovered in our pigeonholes copies of the research paper that had been published following on from our laboratory project; Professor Rivier had not only included our names in the list of contributors, but had put them first.

As the lead name on the paper , I received postal requests for information from universities around the world , and my lab partner and I enjoyed a brief period of celebrity on campus. At that time we were part of a pretty select group of undergraduates to have had this happen to them; it was by no means common practice for first year students to be cited as contributors to a published paper, let alone given the lead.

When we asked the Professor why he had done it, he simply shrugged his shoulders and said that he already had numerous papers to his name, and anyway, we deserved it for all the extra work we had put in.

Over thirty years have passed since I have received a request for further information regarding ‘Chirality in Tetravalent Networks’, but Professor Rivier’s amazing generosity of spirit is still not lost on me; indeed it has served as a constant reminder to encourage and reward the efforts of those who might find themselves working under my guidance.

At the risk of sounding trite (we’ve all heard and read it a thousand times), people really do follow examples rather than orders or instructions, and great leaders do inspire, and I hope one day to look back and feel that I have lived up to that exceptional example that I was shown all those years ago.

If you had told me three years ago that I would now be mostly working from home, I would not have believed you, and yet it became, at least temporarily, the daily reality for vast numbers of people including myself; what had seemed in the past like an unattainable vision of the future, became an all too real enforced reality, with all its incumbent unforeseen difficulties.

‘Wouldn’t it be great if…’ was how many of us used to think about home-working; that soon changed to ‘How on earth are we supposed to…’ when the harsh reality of having no choice but to get on with it hit home. The initial novelty of not having to commute was quickly dissolved away by the frustration of trying to conduct business meetings in homes full of distraction; where children who were not able to be in school were trying their best to make sense of a confusing set of circumstances, many without the facilities needed for remote learning even when it would become available. This was NOT how many of us had imagined it would be.

But from the midst of all this chaos, a new stability steadily arose as we learned to cope with the strangeness and unfamiliarity of the situation; technology rapidly caught up with our new requirements, filling piece-by-piece many of the frustrating gaps we hadn’t even imagined existed only months earlier.

Of course, for many it was just not possible to continue working away from the workplace, and the return to former normality could not come quick enough; but for others, a potentially sustainable new future opened up, free from the daily grind of commuting, with all the extra time that delivered to be used how we wished once restrictions were lifted.

Micro-managers who used to think that their staff would not do a scrap of work without someone standing over them, had come to realise that most of the people who were fortunate enough to be able to do their job at home were also sufficiently focused and determined to make it work in order to protect their livelihoods, where many were not so lucky. More affirmative leaders, who had always trusted in the ability of their staff to rise to a challenge, felt comfortably reinforced and reassured in their confidence.

The pandemic, of course posed far more fundamental challenges to our collective sanity, but the issue of how and where to work was a not-insignificant hurdle to overcome, with repercussions that will be felt for generations; but with an open mind and a willingness to embrace change and adapt where required, our resilience in the face of adversity can be astounding. And we must never underestimate the bravery of all the key-workers (my wife amongst them) whose selflessness kept the lights on and kept us safe through the ever-present dangers.

For many, the return to the workplace has restored a much longed-for sense of familiarity and stability, but for others a new paradigm has emerged, enabling a bold new future. I still enjoy my trips to the office when I need to make them, welcoming the opportunity for face-to-face interaction with my colleagues, but I am every bit as productive from my home office on all those other days, and my dogs are thrilled by that!